The End of Another Chapter

Greetings, everyone.

It has been some time since I last posted. I have procrastinated, and dragged, and procrastinated again and again, and I have kept off from posting to this blog simply because I was too lazy to do so. It is unfortunate, but I am afraid this unannounced hiatus will have to be extended until such a time as I can find myself more regularly home.

It is a sad day for all of us, I know, who are reading this. I have had much joy and fun venting my craziness here with wild swingings of extreme opinions on this blog. I really enjoyed it, and it is sad for me as well, to see this blog stop for now. I do not know if, by the time I come back, I will continue to write in the same fashion, or if I will go for more serious topics, but as always, the future is uncertain, and is as ever in our own control. We shall see in the future.

And thus this marks the end of another great chapter of this good blog. I wish to thank everyone who has ever read, cursed at, laughed at, scorned at and visited this blog. Indeed, it has been a good run with all of you. Thank you for your support and your scorn.

Even when tomorrow comes...
Even when someday I become an adult,
I'm sure I'll always remember.
that you were here with me.
I'll never forget,
even when I'm in the very ends of this vast world.
For this moment that will never disappear,
I thank you, everyone.

Arigatou.

Until next time,
Yours Sincerely,
Runearay aka Vincent.

Looking to the future~
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A Great Mystery SOLVED!

Alright people, I've decided to reveal one of the deepest, darkest secrets of my mysterious existence. Hail the Creator of all, hail whichever personal amulet of luck that you believe in, for such a fortunate experience will come but once in a few lifetimes. Indeed, you, amongst all the humans that have ever lived and might ever come to live, will be witness to the unveiling of a mystery so great nothing might come to surpass it for all time; unless I decide to reveal yet another of my great mysteries... but now, don't be greedy. One mystery at a time.

Alright, now that you have salivated all over your keyboard, it is finally time to reveal exactly what mystery I am going to tell you:

The great mystery that will be solved today is:

What the Great Runearay would post if he had nothing to blog about!

Indeed, fanatical readers of this great blog would have, by now, ascertained I have only posted when there is an insightful progress on my search to the meaning of life, or a great discovery that would radically change the progress of humankind. But fanatical readers will also have noticed that sometimes, despite my greatness, there is a lapse in my posts. Sometimes these lapses are longer, sometimes they are short.

Now, these lapses are, obviously, times when the Great Me has nothing of worth to post about, for few things in the world are worthy enough to be archived here. And although I do know how disappointing it is for my fans to access this blog day after day, hoping for a post but finding none, I always restrain myself from posting something less worthy than my standards demand.

And thus a great mystery has always confounded those who fanatically study my behavior: the mystery of what exactly I would post if I had nothing to blog about. And today, I have decided to enlighten those who seek that Knowledge. For Knowledge is Power, and I am one who believes in empowering my vassals so that they can support me in times of crisis.

To tell the truth, I have given this much thought myself. What would I post, should I one day, be unable to find something in the pathetic humans to be worthy enough to archive here? I contemplated blogging about the latest news in japanese animation; but as I look around, there are already a ton of "anime-blogs" around. And then I toyed with the idea of giving a synopsis, translation and personal opinion of my favourite songs, but again, there are forums for such discussions in fanlistings and translation sites.

The Great Me can be nothing else but unique, and therefore, I have discarded those ideas.

And so, what would I post if I had nothing to blog about? Why, the answer is: I would post something UNIQUE!

Hah, as if you all didn't see that coming. My hints were neon signs lighting the dark grey space of the night sky. Uniqueness is a quality that is, indeed, unique to me, therefore, everything I do and think is unique. Don't you think so too? I revel in paradoxes and word games, my mind is too great to be understood. And all of my unique ideas I choose to archive in a public "blog", a word that is not a word.

Ahh, the above paragraph was a synopsis of a few of my traits; and it is such a beautifully made paragraph.

Right, and thus ends this post.

Until next time. =)

Looking to the future~
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Empathy: Do you REALLY understand..?

Alright people, I've got good news, and I've got bad news. Which do you want to hear first?

Well, I'm deciding to tell you the good news first, because I feel like it. The good news is that I'm going in the army next week, so your favourite monthly (or bi-monthly) blogger will soon be BLOGGING EVERY WEEK! Yahoo! Whee! Awesome! Give me a five, dude! Oh yeah!

Right, so if you believed the junk that was the previous paragraph, then... ahem, nevermind. Now, unfortunately, that really was the good news. The bad news is this:

The thing you all know as "Empathy" is nothing but a joke. (No, not an illusion, but a joke.) Oh yes, a joke. A big, funny joke that's played on you by the English language and the omnipotent Power that overlooks our lives. An April Fool's joke that never ends.

A joke, I say. But what does the dictionary say?

em·pa·thy /ˈɛmpəθi/ [em-puh-thee] –noun

1. the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.
2. the imaginative ascribing to an object, as a natural object or work of art, feelings or attitudes present in oneself: By means of empathy, a great painting becomes a mirror of the self.

I'm referring to the first usage of "Empathy": the thing every single one of you have claimed to have felt for another.

"I understand how you feel."

A simple phrase that brings so much warmth and conveys so much emotional support. A single phrase that builds an invisible bridge of understanding between two, unqiue individuals, that builds friendship and trust and a common interest in a subject or thought. A phrase that invokes a sacred feeling of being two, yet together. A bonding.

How is this possible? You know it yourself. You've gone through it yourself. When you're at your most down, your most terrible state, a part of you just wants to curl up and die. Another part of you wants to hurt anyone who dares come near you. And a small part, a tiny part, an insignificant part of you calls out for someone to come to you, and comfort you, and take this pain away, or at least share in your pain.

Please don't mistake what I'm trying to describe as "Sympathy". There is nothing a person could want less than sympathy when he or she is feeling terrible. I don't need your pity when I'm feeling down. I need your empathy. I need someone to be there for me, to do something I cannot describe in words, but something all the same. Even if there is nothing anyone can do, I still would want someone to be with me. Even if I rage and yell and shout and say I want to be alone, a small part of me still cries out in loneliness.

A man cannot survive as an island, after all, or you cease to be human in any emotional sense of the word. That's humanity for you; at its lowest point, a person would still want to make others worry, to make them accompany them, until the trauma is forgotten, or "put behind" or "gotten over" or whatever you people call it.

Yet why do I say that this "Empathy", which humans all have in one form or another, is nothing but a joke? Well, the answer is simple. Isn't it funny, let me ask you, if you're "empathizing" with someone, and that person believes you are "empathizing" with him, yet in fact, you are not?

Let me illustrate you an example. A classic one.

You are a normal, average person. You are walking on the road, an empty road, when you come across a young girl, sitting on the curbwalk, crying like the world was ending. Being the good samaritan you are, you walk over and ask what happened. The girl lifts her bloody, wounded face and tells you, "I was assaulted."

Now, at this point, if I were to ask your reaction, each of you would give me a different one. Outrage, horror, alarm, shock. Whichever reaction you get, however, I'm sure each of you would try to comfort the girl. To provide her the empathy that you instinctively know she needs. How would you empathise? You don't even know what she went through. Was it an animal? Was it a killer? Where were her parents? Were they killed before her eyes? How would you empathise?

Alright, let's move to a different scenario. You are a police officer (whether you like it or not), and suddenly, in bursts this good citizen, a girl with her face scratched bloody cradled in his arms. She is settled onto a chair, and you gaze concernedly at the person who brought her in, whose face is a mixture of outrage, horror, alarm and shock. You put in an emergency call for medical help. Then you compose yourself and ask the girl to explain, in as much detail as possible, what happened. The girl describes a harrowing account of a torturous day spent in the company of a crazed serial killer who mangled her parents' bodies and raped her.

Now, I'm going to be a little insensitive here, if you're easily disturbed, don't read this paragraph. But I know you will anyway. Some of you have been raped. Some of you have had your parents killed before your eyes by a crazed serial killer. Very few of you had both happen to you. What are you going to do if you only had either one of the two, or neither, experiences? Can you truly, at this point in time, kneel down beside the girl, hug her tight and whisper, "I understand how you feel."? Can you truly understand how she feels? Even if you had both trauma happen to you, in the exact circumstances as the girl did, could you say that phrase with absolute confidence? Even twins react differently to the same circumstances; you, who are not a twin to the girl, can you really understand her feelings and thoughts at that point in time?

Alright, let's not speculate on something so theoretical. Let's look at something closer to all our hearts. You've had friends, haven't you, who have cried? You've had friends, haven't you, who told you some of their problems? From something as simple as what to wear when returning to school to collect results to something as big as having a cold war for years with siblings... I myself have confided in many people on my own problems, either seeking a solution or just a ear to talk to. I myself have fretted and worried and discussed other people's problems with them and other people, and have, sometimes, come up with some kind of solution.

Yet, each time I hear someone tell me, "I understand how you feel," I cannot help but smile sadly. Each time I myself tells another person, "I understand how you feel," I cannot help but grit my teeth and sigh at my own hypocrisy. Do I really understand? How can I understand?

To quote a book,

Have you ever had a moment when you sat at the deathbed of a close friend who is suffering, and thought to yourself, "Oh, gods, I cannot imagine the kind of pain he feels."? After all, pain is not the same as pain-behavior, and the peculiar awfulness of pain - what it's like - is never known except by feeling it.


I believe in the truth of an idiom, "Empathy is a two-way street". It is useless to empathise with someone who doesn't reciprocate. I can no more empathise with you any more than a rock can if you're holding me down and cutting my face. There's no way I can cry and say, "I'm so sad, I feel your pain, I understand your need to eat my flesh so that you can live on."

If you don't trust me on this one, you can go ask Hannibal Lector what he felt when his sister was killed like cattle to be eaten.

Yet at this point in time, I pose a question; if empathy is a two-way street... how can we know where each end of the street connects? Can you imagine an instance when two grieving women are hugging each other, believing they are empathizing with each other's loss of life-mate... but one of whom is a lesbian? Can you imagine what is going through both women's minds, believing they "truly understand each other", when the truth doesn't even come close?

Has it ever occured to you, that the same may be for you when you were comforting a friend, or being comforted?

Its a joke isn't it? I'm sure you giggled a little at the image of the two women. You find it funny too, don't you?

What's the point of this whole post?

The point is that it is useless to empathise, to even try. Because there is, theoretically, zero chance of truly understanding what another person is feeling. Even if we put theory aside, its still a joke.

Humans, however, are very unique creatures. We are creatures of hope, yet there is no such thing as "hope" in the Universe, only facts, circumstances and results. We are social creatures, yet empathy is a joke that is being played on us. We are alive, but we live as though we were dead.

Its pointless to worry about empathy, because there is no way you can run away from it. When the next person comes to me with their problems, I'm still going to hear them through, and then empathise, and if I can, I want to tell them, "I understand how you feel." I want to, because empathy is a two-way street, and I need the empathy that I am giving as much as I am receiving.

Do I really understand? Chances are, no, but I still want to understand, and I still will try, even if its useless to even try.

Do you understand what I am saying? Do you REALLY understand?

Good night, and until next week!

P.S. the weekly posts only apply after my first two-week confinement!

P.P.S. if you really believed the P.S., then you now have my permission to cut your wrists and emo.

Looking to the future~
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Quality vs Quantity

I'm sure all of you have heard of the phrase "quality over quantity" being used when someone is trying to make excuses for their slow (and unproductive) work. I'm sure many of you have used the very same excuse before as well. I am sure, at least, that I myself am guilty of this; afterall, that was the "philosophy" I comforted myself with when I become too lazy to blog more than once a month (or longer, as the recent delays in posting shows) from since sometime last year.

Today, I'm going to talk about this cliche, and how, despite current technological advances, it is still relevant to our lives in this day and age.

By the way, as a slight digression, I want to re-emphasize the fact that, bastard and hypocrite though I am, I am not a liar. And thus, my posts, which have decreased in quantity, have INDEED, increased in quality, as is apparent when you read anyway. (ahem)

So, let us begin. Shall we agree on the basic premise of the phrase, "quality over quantity" first? The phrase states that the two mentioned subjects are in conflict with one another. For example, "Instead of quantity, let us have quality" is what it says. Therefore, by extension, the two subjects, "quantity" and "quality" can be said to be opposing in nature. Similar, maybe, to concepts like "good" and "evil", or "light" and "darkness".

Now, is this premise true?

Well, it certainly is true that the rationale behind the creation of that phrase is rooted in a natural conflict between the two subjects. As humans, we all know that you can't really create something that is well-done (ie. high in quality) if you rush it. Therefore, when you try to make more of something in a shorter amount of time (ie. high in quantity) you compromise on the quality. A rushed drawing cannot compare with a painting in which the artist has put alot of effort and time into; a hastily put-together wooden model will fall apart faster than one where the glue was applied carefully and allowed to dry properly; a piece of homework will be more prone to "careless" errors if it was rushed through in the middle of the night rather than done slowly through the weekend.

Of course, for each of the examples I've stated, there are exceptions. A naturally careless person (read: the stupid me) might make as many mistakes while doing his homework through the weekend as if he'd done it in five minutes' time; a less creative artist (read: the totally artistically inept me) might churn out a work that is still average, despite spending more time on it than a talented artist; and wooden models can be broken easily by a clumsy person (read: me) whether or not it was well-made.

Quality, however, isn't just physical. There is still the spiritual aspect to it; the effort, the hard work, the sweat and blood of the crafter. I'm sure you understand the feelings a mother will feel upon receipt of a hand-made, but horribly ugly birthday card from a three-year-old. Its hardly the "epitome of quality", but still, there is something to it that makes it all that much more important. The spiritual value we, as humans, imbue upon the things around us, even inanimate things, can overcome the physical inferiorities of the said things.

In general, I think it is safe to agree that something which was done in a hurry, with little thought and effort put into it, is of a lower quality, both physically and spiritually speaking.

And therein lies the original rationale which led to the phrase "quality over quantity", where humans treasure the quality of a well made item, rather than the quantity of the item itself.

We still haven't proved that quality and quantity are polar opposites, though. What is to say that quality and quantity cannot both exist at the same time? Afterall, with technology, that is now much more possible than ever, isn't it? Think about it: the original limitation where quality would be compromised by quantity was a human limit. A talented wood-crafter can make hundreds, maybe thousands, of well-done, much treasured, priceless wooden toys in his lifetime. But take the same technics, take the same secrets, take the same means and materials, and program it into a machine; then have ten of those machines mass-produce those toys. Hundreds of thousands, even millions of toys of the same quality can be churned out in the space of a year.

Machines, afterall, don't have to waste twenty-odd years learning to be an "adult", machines, afterall, can be fixed when broken, machines, afterall, don't need to eat, or shit, or be subject to temper tantrums and pre/post-menstrual syndromes; machines won't be affected by the thousands of minituae that can delay human production. And machines can re-produce whatever is programmed into them with near perfect replication. Quantity, thus, can be acheived with no compromise to quality.

Can we thus say, then, that quality and quantity can, in fact exist at the same time?

No. Quality and quantity cannot exist at the same time. Even after all those examples I stated of technology transcending the human limitations, the fact remains that quality and quantity cannot exist at the same time. This is no longer an issue of human weaknesses; but rather, is tied into the concept of the words "quality" and "quantity". Quantity implies a large number, numerous. Quality implies a certain status that is above others, something unique, or superior. Thus, the two concepts come into direct, natural conflict. How can you have something that is superior, yet numerous at the same time? You cannot. The moment you mass-produce a high-quality product, it ceases to become of a high-quality, but instead, becomes... normal. It is no longer something people would "wow" and "ooh" over; there will be no musing over its "craftsmanship", because there is no craftsmanship to speak of. And in the midst of all that normalcy, a new "quality" will emerge as one that is superior to the one that has been mass-produced.

Fifty years ago, a black-and-white movie was considered high-quality. Now, special effects are being used in such huge quantities that the quality of movies has taken on the form of a good plotline instead of how real the movie looks. When the qualities of the past era is overcome by the quantities of technolgical advances, new qualities emerge that take over that niche. Forevermore, quality will be something that is rare and not easily found; whereas the great mass that is normalcy and quantity will forever be average and dull and boring. That is how the world is.

Are you unique? Or are you, like the boy from half a world away and who is also reading this blog at this instant, only average and... normal? What are the "qualities" that you have..? Courage? Empathy? Think about how many others have these so called "qualities" of yours, and then tell me again, whether you are of a high quality, or simply part of a large quantity.

And so, we've come full circle. There is no denying that my posts are of a higher quality now, since, afterall, without quantity, there must be quality... right?

Hee. Mission accomplished.

Looking to the future~
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Virtue or Sin: Selfishness

Selfishness is as much a part of you as it is a part of me. Selfishness is, undeniably, a human trait through and through. Each and every one of us are selfish; selfish against our best friends, selfish against our worst enemies. Selfish for materialistic wants, and selfish for emotional attention. No matter what kind of selfishness there is, we have it all.

There is no person on this planet who has true "altruism". Well, except for Jesus Christ, but that is water infested with sharks: a place I'm not going to go into.

Don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying all of us are spendthrifts and selfish bastards that we clutch at our wallets everytime the word "lend" and "borrow" even floats through the air. No, unfortunately, we're not that selfish. Oh, yeah, you didn't make a mistake. I did just say that it was unfortunate that people are not all selfish.

You see, if everyone on the face of this planet was 100% selfish, then life would be so easy. We won't need to worry about whether we need to sacrifice our time for others. We won't ever need to go, "oh, they have their exams coming up, better put off that pool session I want so badly for now." We'll just drag all our friends out, and have fun whenever we want to, with no thought at all for their feelings, their mood, and their wants. It'll be all about us.

Isn't that nice?

Who cares, anyway, about other people's wants. I'd really rather be with my girlfriend all day long. So, all of you mutual friends, buzz the fuck off and go stick your faces up a rubbish chute... until I need you, that is. Who cares, anyway, about other people's needs. I'd really rather be with my girlfriend 24/7, so she can jolly well put her entire fucking life on hold and be at my side when I want her to be, and to hell with toilet breaks.

Who cares, anyway, about whether those starving children in Afghanistan, or whatever the fuck country is starving, needs food. I want my McDonalds, so I'll go out and eat as much as I want, and if I want to, I'll throw away all that I don't want. Who cares.

Hey, if you have the freedom to not care, if you have the freedom to unfetter yourself from those pesky "responsibilities" and "considerations", wouldn't life be so much better and easier? You can do what you like, whenever you like, however long you like, and to hell with everything else. All that matters is you. You.

Oh yeah, such a Utopia is impossible. I know its impossible, and I'm not going to deny it. Even looking at it logically, no two person can be 100% selfish, because being 100% selfish means that everyone else's feelings must take second place to your own; that condition alone cannot be satisfied. It cannot happen; a paradox. Blah blah. Impossible.

But think about it. Just imagine it for one second. That you and you alone can be 100% selfish, and everyone else in existence has to attend to your every need and care. Don't deny your feelings now, it is something that is nice. It IS something you want, deep in your heart; impossible though it may be. In each and everyone of us lies the urge to just say, "Everyone else's problems are not mine, so just fuck off." It may be actively suppressed, or maybe that urge never surfaced for you. But it exists. There will be times, if you haven't already experienced it, that you will want to just forget the world exists, and to just be selfish. Nothing else, just be selfish, 100%, for that one moment.

Now, before we proceed on to examine these feelings, shall we take a look at what we humans, as a general consensus, have agreed to define "selfishness" as?

Courtesy of www.dictionary.com

self·ish /ˈsɛlfɪʃ/
- adjective
1.
devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.
2.
characterized by or manifesting concern or care only for oneself: selfish motives.

~~~

Selfishness is, I quote, being "concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others."

In otherwords; taking care of oneself without caring whether the act of "taking care of oneself" will affect other people, be it negatively or positively. You tell me, is that such a nasty thing to do? Is being selfish all that undesirable afterall? It is inconsiderate, yes, we're not caring about others, implying we feel we are superior to others. Our "interests, benefits, welfare etc" must come before other people's, yes.

Survival of the fittest, dear. Survival is inconsiderate. The wolf isn't going to politely ask the lion, "Hey, dude, will me eating this deer and not sharing it with you hurt your feelings?" The hunter isn't going to tell the elephant, "Hey, dudette, your children are out playing after a long day walking so I'll hunt them tomorrow." Do you think the hunter cares what the elephant babies have been doing all day? Do you think the wolf cares if the lion will become emotionally scarred?

Do you really think I care about you?

Well, yeah, I do care; I do care about you all, my friends and all.. but let me tell you, when push comes to shove, I'm gonna look after my own first. I'm not going to tell the soldier shooting at me, "Hey, I know you got a kid and a wife at home, so I'll let you live and you can shoot me instead." If you're shooting at me, I'm so gonna take this knife and plunge it into your eyeballs and your nostrils and your mouth and your ears.

Selfishness is not a bad thing, people. Selfishness is a human trait, and is thus neither "virtuous" nor "sinful". A survival reflex, if you will.

So here comes the big "Q". The big question. Why do people be selfish, even when their lives are not at stake? Why? Its a human trait, isn't it? Its a survival reflex, isn't it? What has that two dollars you refuse to lend me gotta do with your survival when you've got another twenty bucks in your wallet? What has giving me the attention I crave for a short five minutes got to do with your survival when you're lying on your own bed in boredom anyway? Is it a "sin", then, to be "selfish" when you're not being threatened with imminent death?

My answer? Oh, you know my answer already. Its the answer that lurks around your own heart. No, being selfish, even when there is no danger of an imminent heart failure, or automobile accident, or fire-outbreak, or virulous disease, or machete-wielding fanatics bursting into the room you're sitting in staring at the computer at... is not a "sin" in any sense of the word. Well, okay, so I don't really know the meanings of all the senses of the word "sin", but I don't care. The point is, its not a bad thing to be selfish, even when you're not about to die.

You see, selfishness is a survival reflex; ie. it only crops up when your instincts realise the situation is one you cannot afford to repeat over and over in the long term. You have twenty-two dollars. Lending two isn't a big deal; but if a hundred of your friends asked you to? And you gave in all the time? Do you think your survival will be threatened, then? What about if every single attention-seeking leech clamped onto you to ask for "just five minutes"? Idling at your bed or not, its not going to lengthen your life-span any.

When people come to you with their problems, you want to help them; but sometimes, when it gets just abit much... you want to shut them out and say, "just fuck off". Is that a bad thing? Are you being 'selfish'?

Going by the definition, yes, it is selfish to do that; but its not wrong either.

So, then, is it selfish of me when I want you to listen to me whenever I have a problem? Maybe it is, but my own instincts are telling me, I cannot handle so many of such circumstances without someone to talk to. Therefore, I go looking for someone to talk to. It is selfish of me... but is it wrong?

Something's gotta give, dude. One man's victory is another's loss. Are you going to constantly answer the call for emotional support, or are you going to indulge in your selfishness, your survival reflex, to be "selfish"? Will you be able to know when to choose between which?

When push comes to shove... will you be selfish, or considerate?

Is it a virtue, or a sin?

Looking to the future~
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Spammers

Yes, I'm back after a one-and-a-half month long absence. Yarr, jump for joy, people, your favourite weekly blogger is back in business.

*silence*

Right, today, I'm gonna bitch about: *drumroll* who else but SPAMMERS!? Yarr! (I think "Yarr" is supposed to be some pirate warcry or something. I just thought it'd sound cool.)

*silence*

So as all of you online-no-lifers know, spam is about the worst thing ever happened to the Universe, and worst of all, it has a tendency to find its way into your house. (!!) Its a terrible thing, really. Imagine this. Coming home, all tired out from yet another boring, no-life day at work or school, and you plump down onto your couch munching on potato chips, happily booting up your computer. What's the first thing you see? This:

COME, Come, come! The great wwwDOTgamble-to-loseDOTcom cordially invites you to our -PORNO PIC- opening!!!!!!![][][]!![]![]!![]!!![][]![]!!![]![][]!!![]!![][]!!!!![]!!![]!!![][]!![]!![]![]!!![]!!!![]!!!!![][]!![]!![]![]!!![][]![]![]![]!!![]![]

Whew, its not easy trying to be a spammer. I spent the last 15 minutes composing the above spam. Well, you can imagine how that one spam message, in your email or in a spy-ware pop-up, will, like, TOTALLY ruin your day. Aye, you can't sleep, can't eat, can't go to the god damned latrine after seeing it. It is totally, awesomely disgusting. Yeah, spammers should be gelded and stuffed face first into the nearest toilet bowl, then drowned in a pool of bodily excretions and...

Okay, I know some of you are eating/will be eating/has just eaten so I won't go into the graphic details. But don't you agree with me, that spam really ought to take first place on the "most hated and hunted thing on the cyberworld"? I mean, hey, if the police and censorship boards has the bloody time to go look for and replace "Government Criticism" with "********** *********", then they jolly well have the time to find and weed out all the rubbish spam that's plaguing the internet world.

Not only the internet world, its such a horrible phenomenon that some bastards have brought it to the Prime Material Plane.. .ah, I mean the real world. (Playing too many games... in the middle of my exams too. =X)

Aye, do you not see the spammers hiding behind the pillar right outside MRT stations and interchanges, pouncing on every unlucky passer-by to inundate them with scraps of paper screaming the words: "ALOE-VERRA SMOOooOOTH SPA! COME TRY IT NOW! 3-DAY FREE TRIAL!" Granted, many of those aren't spammers by trade, but instead, slaves to the over-whelming consumerism that has the world gripped in its devilish embrace, causing students and children as young as five to throw tantrums and cry (and spam) in order to get the money to buy the latest Power Rangers Ninja'd Storm 1337 Megabot. But consumerism and its own plague is for another day.

Back to spam. You can see how it is socially undesirable in both its original medium, the Internet, and in the real world. Yet, it still exists. Nay, not "exists", it thrives! Oh, woe be me, the depravity of the world is now complete. Why, can you please answer this question, do people perpetuate spam? And yes, contrary to popular belief, spam is not generated by a mindless, evil, world-domination seeking computer. It is generated by countless individuals who have no life and should be gelded and mashed face-first down the nearest toilet bowl. These "spammers" as we call them, derive their pleasure in life by composing and typing out pages and pages of intellectual junk and crap and posting them in pop-ups, BBSes, Forums, tag-boards, and most importantly, on their own blogs!

Aye, these "bloggers" as you call them, are nothing more than "spammers"! They put up on the Internet snippets of their lives that no one, absolutely NO ONE, except fellow depraved bloggers, (aka spammers) want to read. And worst of all, some are so narcissistic that they even proudly proclaim themselves, "your favourite weekly blogger", as if ANYONE with half a sane brain would want to even KNOW what goes on in your god-forsaken, good-for-nothing, and ultimately, BORING-AS-HELL life.

This is a shoutout to all so-called "bloggers" (aka spammers), especially those who call themselves "your favourite weekly blogger" and says "yarr!" (as though you thought it was cool) in their blogs:

Do the world a favour, and go spread your spam to the underworld. And when you've finally reached purgatory, STAY THERE AND DON'T SHOW YOUR FACE ON THE EARTH ANYMORE YOU FRIGGIN' RETARDS.

Aye, I encourage one and all to spread this message to any and all spammers you see henceforth. If the world will unite against spam and its perpetuators, I am confident that one day, perhaps not in our generation, we will be rid of the simly, icky idiots and their brain-rotting, mindless, intelligence-degrading spam.

For the sake of our children and grandchildren, I beg all of you to join me in the crusade against spam!

-Yours Sincerely,
Your favourite weekly blogger
Yarr! 'Cuz its cool, yo.

Looking to the future~
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The Groove of Love

Who's love? Mine, of course. Everyone knows I am the most loving man ever to walk the Earth. I am second to none... except, perhaps, a few thousand people. Or maybe a few million. Or maybe... Well, nevertheless, its great to love, don't you think?

Before I begin my pointless, futile discourse into a topic no one is even remotely interested in, let me take a detour and lighten the mood with some fancy breakfast. Yes, this morning, I met my soul-mate. We clicked off right away. I looked into his eyes and he looked into mine, and we each saw in the other something similar. What is it, you ask? Why, what else could it be, but the groove of love?

Yes, it was a day that appeared no different from any other. I was on my peaceful way to buy some breakfast when I stopped in front of the roti-prata stall. Oh, what a sight. Oh the heavens. GONE! Gone were the old tenants, an indian lady who smiled often and worked slowly. Instead, who do I see? I see... an indian man! Well, two, actually. But one was the person doing the cooking, the other greeted customers. And what a way he greeted. Every syllable was timed perfectly. Timed to what?

To the groove of love.

Oh yes, I knew then, I met my soul-mate. A man able to love as much as I, a man who understands that love, and the groove of love, is what makes the world go round, and bedamned to money. You could see it in the sparkle of his eyes, a jubilant, bold-as-brass, scintillant glint that seemed to shine like a jewel from the heavens. You could feel it in the way his thick mustache quivered with excitement from the first customer of the day. Immediately my surroundings, hell, my whole life became brighter. I could finally find it in myself to hope once again.

When my order came at last, and I left the coffee-shop, I'd begun to feel as though nothing could stand in my way. I was the Lord of the Rings, the Chosen One, the Prophesized Twin (god knows where my other twin is), the Divine Dreamer, the Leader of Men, the General of Victories, the Baron of Beer, the King of Kopi, the Slayer of Souls, the Pruissant Prince, the Knightly Knight, the Butcher of Bears...

Gods, I felt so good I started to groove to the love too.

So, as I walked home, bobbing my head to the non-existent groove that the indian man had grooved for me, I began to wonder...

And so we have come, after that light-hearted detour, to the crux of the matter: the Groove of Love.

I wondered one word: why? Why couldn't people learn to be like that indian man? Why couldn't they serve with a smile? I've been in the service line for around a decade now (I'm not kidding. I HAVE been in service CCAs for the past ten years.) and I know exactly how much a difference it makes when you're black-faced and when you're smiling your teeth off. People feel it is easier to approach you when you smile, nervousness is banished, contact and relationship is made. Why, if you smile hard enough, whoever comes to bother you might even finish his business as fast as possible just to get away from you.

Isn't that spiffy? On the other hand, people tend to stay around black-faced service assistants, prodding and provoking so much that you'd like to explode and take the whole damned earth with you. If you give off the "I hate you" vibes, people will seem to find a reason to come to you and give off the same vibes around you. Worse still, those vibes they give off often come with a stench worse than your own. You don't get any peace, you get prolonged torture, and even worse, your pay might even be docked.

Given such a set of advantages versus disadvantages, I would have thought anyone would choose to be happy and bubbly. Look at all the good things that'll come your way. Peace and prosperity, and a wide circle of friends! As for those who adopt a scowl for a permanent facial expression, you might as well go straight to hell; it'll probably be more comfortable.

There are some idiots who argue that you can't be happy all the time. (I am one of them.) I disagree vehemently. Why the hell can't you be happy all the time? What's wrong with it? So what if you'd look like a break-out from the local nut-house? Why, crazy people have so much better a life than the normal people. Think about it. We have to work, eat, sleep and shit. What do they have to do? Drool and... well, drool. Everything else is taken care of. They just need to drool to be able to feel a sense of accomplishment. Isn't that great?

Yes, why limit the groove of love to the service sector? Why not share the love? Why, everyone should groove to the groove of love. Imagine. Just imagine. It is the A-level examinations. Everyone's nervous and tense in the hall. Shaking in their boots, so to speak. How do you think they will do? They'll be so nervous they'll faint halfway through the exam. Now, imagine it is the A-levels, but with one marked difference. Everyone is groovin' to the groove of love. Everyone's bobbing their heads to a non-existent tune going round and round. Can you imagine, over 500 students, united in their uniforms, and sitting in the hall, bobbing their heads to the groove of love?

The atmosphere would be so different. A sea of black (and some brown, or yellow, or purple, or rainbow-coloured) haired students bobbing in unity to the groove of love. Oh dammit, that will be so uplifting. No exam can stand in our way! Not even the monstrous Bahamut Zero, or the mathematics question, or the Napoleon history, or whatever the hell people take for exams these days. Everyone'll get a perfect score!

Can you imagine a company doing the same? People walking on orchard road, past office buildings, will probably be able to feel the groove emanating from the buildings. Profits will soar, shareholders will never lose confidence, the entire freaking world will gain in economic prosperity.

We could beam the groove of love in an interstellar effort to contact otherworldly species. Why resort to charting the unchartable oceans of space? Why, the groove of love will draw to us aliens like iron fillings flocking to magnets. And man, they'll come bobbing to the groove of love of course. Imagine the sight: an endless horizon of alien spaceships, bobbing in unity in the emptiness of space, now not so empty anymore because it is filled with the groove of love.

Can you see my dream? Can you see my vision? The vision of all the life that ever lived bonded together in the groove of love, a network of love and brotherhood, (and sisterhood, of course. I'm not sexist.) lines tracing across the arc of space to connect far-flung civilizations to the progress of all. A grand plan that, unfortunately, will never see fruition, because there are people out there who would, indeed, destroy what we work towards. They would scowl and frown their way through our defenses, and steal our riches to be consumed.

It is sad, that the groove of love, which originated from humans is doomed to be masked under and swallowed by the avarice of humans themselves. It is a pity, that the one tool to unite the entire Universe into the one true Utopia will be undone by the sorrow-seeking nature of humans. Oh! I cannot bear to continue, the cruel paradox, that the saviors of the Universe, the mighty humans, are also the ones who would drive it to its doom, the despised humans.

For now, even though I know my dream will never come true, I shall groove to the groove of love, and hope, even though I know it is futile, that human beings will come to their senses and acknowledge the power of the groove of love....

Looking to the future~
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