Garfield 2

No, I've not watched the movie, nor am I planning to. And no, I'm not going to satirize it here. And no, I did not put the name of the second movie of the "world's fattest cat" so that I can talk about the movie here.

In fact, I'm going to blog about something that's totally unrelated to the movie, and some might say, unrelated to Garfield as well. The only link that this blog has with "Garfield 2" is.. yes, the catch-phrase of the "world's fattest cat", only my subject is about the "world's fattest me".

I remember that when the first Garfield movie came out, the "world's fattest cat" reminded me alot of Kitson. Not because he's fat, but because of the "hey, I'm in my element. I'm at the top of the world, I'm confident, and I'm gonna kick your big fat ass" vibes Garfield has. Granted, Kitson doesn't usually give out those vibes, but I guess I was having some serious flashbacks of Kitson when he was trying to be sarcastic. No offense.

But anyway, I was on the bus today when the new Garfield trailer came out. And it was the fourth time in one day that I saw the word "fat". Nope, the other three times wasn't from the trailer. It was from my dear dear friend Mark, and his Long Song Tongs. He commented I was fat, (he put it nicely, and in a brotherly way, of course. But being the petty, vain, egotistical me, I'm trying to put his actions in an unfavourable light.) and I agree totally. But I swear to god, every time he said it, I saw the word "FAT" float in front of my eyes, mocking me with its.. well, fatness.

And this happened on the second day of my diet. How cool is that?

Just a few days before, I saw my cousin's new MSN nickname. He is in primary six, I think, and he IS the fattest amongst all the cousins his age. His nickname said, "Fatter than you, and proud of it." And a few days after that, which was three days ago, I met Mark for the first time after the holidays began, and he already told me I put on weight. Now, I would like to say I'm normally immune to such stuff. I would like to say that I'm not vain, that my growing tummy (which I was noticing long before Mark told me I was fat) was not a concern to me. But I'd be bullshitting. Yes, I was fat, and I was worried. Yeah, like a girl worrying over her weight, I was worrying over mine.

Sad case eh?

Well, so I embarked on a diet yesterday, and it is still going on today. And I still remembered to cut back on rice on my dinner tonight. The only problem is that, as far as I can see, I seem to be making up for the less rice by eating more of the dishes. A diet doomed to fail... I now see the reason girls who frequently diet do what they always do: frequently diet.

I've learnt, though, that by saying an endeavour is "doomed to failure", it wipes out whatever small iota of a chance the endeavour has of succeeding. And so, after such a long, meandering, meaningless account of how fat I've grown, I've finally come to my point: Pessimism.

I was told, today, how pessimistic I was. Just because I said that the entire world cup is rigged, and that every match has a script, and that even Micheal Owen's broken knee is well-compensated for by a (probably) life-time pension, I was accused of commiting one of the worst criminal acts in this modern world of technology: Pessimism. So just how criminal is pessimism anyway?

It is, according to the various voluntary opinions offered me (or should I say, the various unsolicited opinions thrust upon me) through my life, a crime worthy of the formidable capital punishment. Let me state to you examples of such philosophies:

1) The story of the frogs climbing the tower circulating around chain-email circles. For those of you losers who haven't read it yet, this is the gist: a thousand little froggies (cute and huggly too) are all climbing a mount-everest-high tower for god knows what reason. As they climb, some pessimistic bastards kept shouting to them, telling them they couldn't do it. And so they all failed. Except for this 1 retarded frog that kept climbing until he did it. Why? Cuz he was a retard, and deaf to boot. Moral of the story: Pessmists suck, listen to them and you'll fail, stopper your ears and you, like the retarded frog, will succeed.

2) One of the stories in xxxHOLiC talk about this pair of twins, and how powerful words can be. I don't want to be sued for spoilers and copywrite (yes, I spelled it copyWRITE purposely, just as the retarded capitalization of the word "HOLiC" is deliberate), so I'll just sum up the story: one twin was being pessimistic, and the other was being fucked up because of it. Moral: Words have power, and negative words (ie pessimism) can kill.

3) During an philosophic argument about ethics (not ethnics, you retards. ETHICS. Check a dictionary please.) between Socrates and Thrasymachus, where Thrasymachus adopts a pessimistic view about ethics, (read up on it yourself, you lazy bastards) Socrates manage to run circles around Thrasymachus' arguments and then tie him upside down, inside out. Moral: Pessimism can be easily refuted... and being pessimistic can be deadly for your pride and dignity.

(NOTE: the last example is heavily laced with my own interpretations, and since I'm a pessimistic bastard, it may be heavily skewed in my favour. I AM quoting it as an example for the argument AGAINST pessimism, however.)

Now, you see what a terrible, horrible, and absolutely fearrible (I rawk.) force pessimism is? By being pessimistic, you are pulling others down into the dark despair bequeathed you for your own selfish actions. You are destroying bright talents who might, one day, unleash their force to dispel evil and restore order in this blighted world. You are contributing to an insidious, dark network of evil and corruption that will grip this universe and ensorcel the very earth beneath our feet into eternal slavery to the fell forces of evils beyond imagination.

Well, I guess this is the end. I've wrapped up my argument. Conclusion: Pessimism sucksass, and Optimism, its opposite, roxxor. End of story. Period. Line Break.

...

Hmm, so you detected the incongruity too? Lo and behold! We have, through our denoucement of pessimism, discovered another evil! Gasp in horror, widen your eyes in terror, shiver in fearror, for the truth of the moment has come upon us!

Optimism isn't all that good either.

Oh yes, you didn't see wrongly. Your eyes are not fooling you. I have, indeed, just announced that optimism, the opposite of pessimism, is NOT, I repeat, NOT the best thing that can and has ever happened to humankind.

You disagree, as usual.

You think that optimism is good, don't you? Yes, that is true. Encouragement is one of the best things that can happen to a person. When a guy is feeling down, do you go to him and say, "NYAH NYAH NYAH. You failed your exams! Woe be to you! I got a 'A'! Har Har!"

Definitely not, right? What you should do is to encourage him. Don't give up. Don't feel too bad. Failures are the parents of success. Try again. It doesn't matter how many times you fall down, as long as you always get up after it. Work harder. Jia you! Ganbatte.

It gives humans hope where despair has choked the human spirit. It allows people to look past failures and stop wallowing in self-misery and self-pity. It brings light where darkness has smothered the inner flame of a person's determination. It spurs humans to greater heights. The power to encourage those around you is a sign of a leader, of a team-person, of a considerate, compassionate heart. The ability to be optimistic in the face of unrelenting bad odds will open the door for miracles to happen.

How can that be bad? Well, in plenty of ways. As the saying goes, true Light illuminates, not blinds. Encouragement and optimism can only work their magic to the extent that the truth extends. How can saying, "Things aren't too bad." when a madman is pointing a gun to your head help alleviate matters? Will saying, "Let's be optimistic. You can get an 'A' as well." really garuntee a distinction grade?

Will saying, "My diet is absolutely infalliable" make it an absolute success?

Optimism in the face of adversity is the mark of a brave man, they say. But how brave is it, to hide in the false security blanket one has created for oneself, when the world outside is falling to pieces because of your own incompetence? Let me quote you this example:

A guy who doesn't work hard, doesn't want to work hard, is failing his exams. He is not stupid. He is intelligent enough to see the problem. He is also intelligent enough to know he is intelligent. But he doesn't want to work hard. In this scenario, which of the two following sentences do you think is best said to him?

1) "You can surely get a distinction if you work hard. Come on and try."

2) "You're going to fail if you don't buck up. Fail. F. A. I. L. You're going to end up a garbage cleaner, licking other people's boots, buying groceries for fat bastards who have an IQ half of yours."

A dilemma? Not so. The first option will see him scoff at your advice. He is, afterall, smarter than you are. Who do you think you are to act like a fucking angel from heaven? He doesn't need your encouragement. He doesn't want your encouragement.

Optimism? It probably will ruin him.

Is it braver to face up to your own shortcomings, or is it more courageous to believe you have none? Is it better to tell yourself "the glass is half empty." or "the glass is half full." when your country is in a water-crisis? Is it better to take for granted your happiness and believe things aren't as bad as they appear to be, or is it better to acknowledge your failure and move on when things are hopeless?

When you have contracted gangrene on your foot, do you say, "it has a small chance of being cured. Let us try it." or do you make the decision to amputate instead?

Is there a ready answer? Well, of course not. The most ideal answer would be, of course, that there should be a balance of optimism and pessimism. Like in the theory of "Yin and Yang" and "Order and Chaos" and "Good and Bad Karma" and "Your foot and mine", it is total bullshit. Tell me, what do you think the effect of my balanced optimism and pessimism will be on my diet? An "absolutely infalliable and doomed to failure diet"?

Can there be compromise at all?

Well, I shall leave you to ponder these questions on your own. Is pessimism good? Or is optimism better? I have too many things to do tonight, like planning my "absolutely infalliable and doomed to failure" diet.

Looking to the future~
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