Mind your own business

MYOB. That's the Singaporean attitude. At ages as early as 6, Singaporeans are exposed to insensitive remarks of "MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS YOU BUSYBODY!" I can testify, since I was on the receiving end (and giving as good as I got) of that line many a time from since the earilest times I can remember. Its given me such an impression that I've cultivated a truly "mind my own business" attitude in almost everything I do. I say "almost" because I can never be truly true to my own philosophies, and also because I do care about some people.

Now, I find it hard to rouse interest in the sordid affairs of others. I mean, what the hell good is it to know what a person I never exchanged 3 words with did with half the boys/girls in school? Do I gain anything from it? Yeah, sure I do. I gain the shame and disgust at our own 'modern' human society. Do you think people appreciate it when you stick your neb into their problems and stuff? Hey, that girl I've never met is crying so broken-heartedly. Should I, a complete stranger who means nothing to her, ask her what the hell is distressing her so she can repeat all the reasons that are causing her misery and despair to a fat ugly guy she's never met but has nothing better to do?

I'm insensitive? I should go up to her and comfort her? Give her support when no one else has, as a fellow human being, as someone concerned about her well-being even though we're strangers? People, you're mixing ideals. There's a marked, distinct difference between being a busybody and being a concerned samaritan.

Do you know what's a samaritan?

n. A person who is considerate and offers sympathy to those in need.

Do you know what's a busybody?

n. A person who is interested in the state of affairs and wants to know more about what doesn't concern him.

Yeah, quite alot of newspaper readers fall under the second category.

Where do you draw the line? When is being concerned crossing over to become 'busybody'? You can't be concerned for someone when you also want to know what's going on. You just can't. Its a contradiction of ideals. Polar opposites coming together. When you're walking to the girl, asking, "What's going on? Why are you crying?" That's being a busybody. She didn't ask for your help for heaven's sake. GET THE HELL OUT OF HER SIGHT!!

Its when you see someone crying, and you just walk over, and offer her whatever aid you have, without wanting to know anything about what's happening, does it become concern. Yes, I've just condemned about every single act of 'concern' you've showed your fellow humans since the day you were born. You cannot show concern and interest in a state of affairs at the same time. To be a true social helper, you need to give everything you have, including your trust, in the person you're offering aid to. Sadly, such things no longer happen.

Social workers want to know every single detail about you and your private life, in order to see whether you need help or not. Why? Its not because they are blood-thirsty sharks waiting to bite of your leg for every misdeed you've ever done. They need to know the details to be able to give the appropriate amount of aid. But ask yourself this: Why is it that charitable organisations need to be sure of the 'appropriate' amount of aid to be given to those that ask for it? Because there are people who would take advantage and ask for more than they deserve.

Isn't it pathetic? That organisations who want to help are unwilling to do so without reservations... because they DO have reservations about YOUR integrity. Because they cannot trust you, who are asking for aid. And because of that, they have to compromise on their aid, and instead of giving all they can for your needs, they have to give what they think is 'appropriate'.

But I digress. Back to busybodies. Do you think people who approach the crying girl example I stated and ask "what's happened" are organisations who are afraid the girl will take advantage of them? Of course not. Firstly, they don't have anything to lose, unless the girl is a scheming psychopath who secretly murders those who offers to help her. So if that's the case, why the fuck should people ask what's happening? Does asking help them to help the girl? Do you think the girl needs people to know exactly what's causing her distress so THEY can decide what the girl should do next?

You just got raped. You're crying your heart out. Some guy comes over and asks you what happened in order to help you decide what you should do now. You tell him you got raped. He gives you the doubtful eye. "Really?" Then he relents and says, "you poor thing. Being raped must have been traumatic. Let me help. You should go to the police."

What the fuck? Like you wouldn't know that its traumatic? Like you wouldn't know you should go to the police? Like you wouldn't know its unbelievable? Does telling that guy give you anything you don't already know?

You just got raped. You're crying your heart out. Some guy comes over and sits down, mutely asking you to request any service he can give. He doesn't touch you, doesn't offer fake concern, doesn't offer fake comfort, doesn't offer to 'take the pain away', doesn't offer to know what's going on, just waits until you compose yourself enough to ask him to bring you to the police post because you didn't have the courage to go there yourself.

Now, what about this? He didn't do anything, just be a person whom you can draw aid from if you choose to do so. He doesn't ask anything from you, nor offer you anything you don't need. He trusts you know what's the best for you, which you do, and he trusts you won't take advantage of him, just as he trusts you will trust him.

That's what giving aid is all about: helping people in need. People know what they need, they ask for help. You don't need to know what's happening in order to help. They let you know what you need to know. That's called giving aid.

Anything else becomes an act of busybody. Yeah, again, I've just condemned almost every 'charitable' act you've done since you took your first breath of life.

What about those people who don't dare to ask for aid? Well, let me tell you this. I'm not a religious person, but the statement "God helps those who helps themselves" is one I believe in. Those who don't dare to ask for aid, don't deserve it. Those who dare, but can't, will find a way to ask for it if they need it. Its the way of life. Survival of the fittest. You don't need to stick your nose into anyone's business to save anyone. They poke you and ask for help if they need it.

Nothing like this ever happens, of course. No one ever lives by those rules. People have this weird drive to know all about others for the sake of knowing. Those that give up their privacy, demand aid in return. And it has now evolved into our way of life, replacing the ideal system of give-when-they-ask. Charitable organisations look into every nook and cranny to find people living in the worst pits of living hell to know all about them so they can help. People who normally wouldn't have been helped are thus saved from their lives of poverty.

Busybodiness has become a human trait.

I don't live by my philosophy, let me tell you that. Despite everything I've said, I too have the drive to know about others sequestered deep within my secret desires. I want to know every secret, sordid detail if possible. I don't do it openly, and I consciously prevent that side of me from surfacing. But it exists. I can no more give aid for no reason than I can pee through my mouth. I will want to know what's happening. Once or twice, maybe, I prevent myself from asking. Once or twice, maybe, I close my eyes to the suffering of those I don't know.

But most of the time, I fail to mind my own business.

The point of all this? To point out to you just how incharitable humans really are. We don't give aid for the sake of helping. We are just busybodies who can't mind our own businesses. We even help those who don't deserve to be helped just to know abit more about the depravity of humankind. We're that bad.

You don't agree. Of course you don't. No one ever does. Who wants to admit that they are the worst creatures that ever walked the earth? But if you can, pick up a tabloid newspaper, and re-read this post. Then imagine you are the evil creature I spoke of, and that you really want to know all about how disgusting human beings are. Read through that tabloid with that mindset: I can garuntee you'll feel like you had an hour of sex after you're done.

Yes, I'm a disgusting bastard. But then, which human isn't?

~~

DISCLAIMER: Because I'm using references to real places on Earth in my following fictional character-biography sheet, I hereby disclaim that all information below is purely fictional and any similarity to any human being is purely coincidental. Also, I disclaim that I have no racist feelings towards any of the mentioned nationalities or any other nationality not listed in there, implied or otherwise. This is purely a work of fiction.

Carácter Extravagancia

Issue 4

Name: Eindrew da Leislie
Age: 14
Gender: Male
Race: Human

Eindrew is a young man of french descent. He lives in the United States and is a citizen there, however. To all outward appearance, Eindrew is kind, caring, and an active member of society and of the community despite his young age. Tall, blonde and with angular, chiselled features, Eindrew is popular amongst the young and old of his neighbourhood alike. During his free time, he volunteers at various orphanages and old folks' homes.

In school, he is the secretary/treasurer of a student-run volunteer-cum-counselling group that helps other students with personal problems. Despite having joined the school only last year, he already holds numerous leadership positions, and appears to be set to take over the head of the student leadership body by next year.

However, a number of disturbing events have recently brought him to our attention. Alzhemier's is a rising problem in the old folks' homes in his community recently. From since a few years back, coinciding with when Eindrew first started to help out at the local homes, new cases of Alzhemier's have been steadily increasing at a startling and dangerous rate. Despite doctors' best efforts, this trend is still on the rise.

Several students have also dropped out of school, citing psychological reasons. As far as our spies are able to discover, these students appear to have lost all interest in studies. Through our trackers, we've determined that a high number of these students have received counselling from Eindrew himself. Local orphanages have yet to show signs of being affected, but we expect complaints and incidents to happen soon.

To our sources, Eindrew appears to be the cause of all these, or at least, be at the middle of all these incidents. The Council will not rule out outside interference through the boy, but are taking prepatory steps to detain this boy if events spiral out of control. The Council is still investigating these maladies and their connection to the 'aid' Eindrew has been giving. Many experts believe that Eindrew has a heretofore undiscovered ability to feed on the mental energies of humans who confide in him, and it appears that such an activity is having negative effects on Eindrew's 'victims'.

The Council is withholding furthur action. The supernatural community is split over whether Eindrew is a malicious young man who does this for fun or spite, or whether Eindrew's abilities are beyond his control; if they are, indeed, his abilities. One interesting note is that those whom Eindrew has counselled are far more happy with their lives now than ever; though this contentment is causing their sudden lack of drive to improve.

~End of dosier~

Looking to the future~
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