Kanashimi da daijoubu da ne?

Is having sadness alright?

Is it alright to be sad?

Is sadness good?

Well, to answer something like that, you'll first have to ask, "What's sadness to you?"

What's sadness to you? Its an emotion, yes, I know that. Its the opposite of happy, yes I know that too. Being happy is what humans pursue, is what we all want, is what we all aim for. That's true, isn't it? We're working so hard now, so that we can be happy. We're slogging our hearts out for the A levels (though mine isn't for another year) so that we can get good grades, get into university, get a degree, get a good job, and give our family a better life... and be happy. We're rehearsing a performance again and again so that the final performance will be a stunning, awesome success, that everyone is happy and cheering, and that we're all satisfied at the result.

So that we can be happy...

That's what humans are always looking for. Happiness. Where's my happiness? Is it in marrying that girl over there? Is being happy meaning to have alot of money? Must I sacrifice my free time to put in effort for my happiness? Must I work for the happiness of my family?
True. We don't actually do work so that we can have happiness. Its not a direct result. We work so we can get something else, our pay, perhaps. That degree, perhaps. The satisfaction of a good performance, perhaps. And those things, in turn, create happiness for us and those that matters to us. Its still the same though. We're pursing that elusive happiness at the end of the long, dreary road, so we walk the long dreary road. There's that pot of gold over the rainbow, remember? So let's walk on the rainbow!

But how many people truly find happiness at the end? After taking a linoleum knife and carving a hole in our abdomen to drop out guts (literally) at the feet of the goddess of happiness... does happiness just come pouring down like some divine rain? After sacrificing so much, bearing so much hurt, cutting off arms and legs and what not.. are we rewarded with the happiness we want?

Is a man who spent 50 years of his life pursuing a monopoly on the most profitable industry in the world truly happy when he lies on his hospital bed, alone, with nothing but his mountains of money to see him through the gates of hell? What about that guy who, for the sake of his university degree, spurn the love of a friend, and finally got his degree and job... Did he find his true love, his true happiness? What about the guy who chose love over studies, and ended up struggling to make ends meet in a dilapidated hut in the suburbs of town because he did not land a good enough job? Is he really happy with his "true love"?

And at the end. When people have sacrificed what they now see as "a better way to go", and not gotten happiness.. At the end, what are they? They are bitter. Life is unfair. Life sucks. Life is... pointless. And then they take that final step off the roof of the highest building in singapore, and.. bye bye, you fucking world. Bye bye, you god-forsaken land. I hope my blood flowing into your soil, chokes you to death.

And so, people look upon the opposite of happiness, the opposite of what they were pursuing, with horror and disgust. Kanashimi? Urgh, who needs it? Kietsu. That's what I want. What I'm looking for. Oh gods, please please, let my efforts award me with the happiness I want, not that horrible, terrible, sadness!

But is sadness all that bad? Just because its the opposite of joy, of happiness... its bad? Its evil? Its to be scorned?

Is shadow bad? Because it is the absence of light, the opposite of light, its bad, it is evil?
Is evil bad? Because it is the opposite of good, then it must be something absolutely horrible?

Why?

Why is evil there at all, if its so bad? If evil is so evil... then it should not exist at all!

Why is shadow there at all, if its so bad? If shadow is so evil.. then it should not exist at all!

Why is sadness there at all?

Because without sadness, we cannot be human. Without shadow, there cannot be light. Without evil, there is no good. Maybe, after we die, we go to a place without shadows, without evil. Without sadness. Maybe. But before that, before we go, when we're still alive... still human. There will be sadness. There will be.

Is sadness neccesary? Is it "tolerable"?

Is evil "tolerable"?

When someone close to you passes away, you feel empty. You feel as though someone took an ice cream scooper and dug out a piece of your heart. You feel sad. You deny it. You refuse to believe that whoever it is, is gone. Because by accepting it, you admit to the sadness. You are giving in. You're letting sadness win. You're not pursuing the happiness of that close one's continued existence anymore. You're admitting the sadness of losing your loved one. And you don't want that.

But we cannot be human without sadness, without tragic events. The world will be horrible without sadness. Oh come on. In the fairy tales, you are told about lands where no one is ever sad, and everyone is always happy. And the protagonist goes there, has a good day, and comes back all bubbly and happy and "I wanna go there again someday!"

But just imagine an existence that is always happy. Without sadness, with everyone happy, laughing laughing and laughing, not one sad face. You can't stop giggling or laughing because you're so damn happy.

Ahh, blissful.

Yeah, so blissful. Now, stay in that world for a year, and come talk to me if you're not foaming at the mouth and clawing at your rubber walls, that's if they ran out of strait-jackets.

Sadness is a part of life, just like shadow is a part of life, just like evil is a part of life. Its not "tolerable". It just is. It is what defines us as human. I'm not saying you should let rapists go unpunished. That its "alright" to take a hatchet and hack your parents to mushy, bloody pieces. Or that you should dance a tango on your cousin's coffin.

Its not nice to rape people. Its not nice to murder people. Its not nice to lose a loved one. But it happens. It may happen to you. If it does, you have a choice. Drown in self-pity and depression, or jump up and dance like a maniac. Or, accept it and move on.

What's your choice?

How will you let your future unfold?

I've just finished watching Kanon, the bishoujo game turned romantic-tragic anime. (As is the case with most bishoujo games turned anime) Its your standard tear-jerking, heart-warming and heart wrenching (like taking a pair of red-hot tweezers and wringing your heart with it), korean style, mushy, goosebumps raising, "aww" going, kawaii-desu storyline. In otherwords, it was, in my dictionary, a total waste of time.

Why did I watch it? Because I had nothing better to do.

But my point is, pointless though the anime was, (pun intended) it taught me a valuable lesson. That its alright to be sad sometimes. Its not nice, of course, to be sad. But its alright. One doesn't need to freak out and go "OMFG, I'm sad!!! ARRGH!" when one's sad. Its a part of life. It happens. You may have been working for happiness' sake. But if your end-result is nothing but sadness... its disappointing, but it is life. Its what defines humans.

I don't know if you can get what I'm saying here. But if you can, if you understand that sadness is not something to avoid, should not be something anethaema, then you're doing fine. And even if you don't understand... well, that's sad, but sadness is a part of life.

Kanashimi..

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Carácter Extravagancia

Issue 2

Name: Pinochi Are (Ah-rare)
Age: 16
Gender: Female
Race: Human/Spirit

Are is a normal, 16 year old girl. Are is also a 160 year-old Earth-Spirit.

Earth-spirits are ghosts that are rooted to a certain place on earth, without the ability to move forward into heaven, or whatever realm they go to, and unable to leave the area or general vicinity, depending on the ghost's reason for being trapped there. For most, it is generally "unfinished business". In other words, they are "haunts".

Are is special, however, because she is also able to, at certain points in time, create and use a physical body. Not a physical body she possesses (some Earth-spirits can possess passer-bys) but instead, is a physical body of her own. It is unknown how she came to be able to have this power, and all efforts by the Council to investigate has failed. Somehow, she is able to evade the summoning rituals of the Shamans, and can stay hidden to a Druid's powers too. Are seems to switch between her spirit form and physical form on whim.

She hasn't caused any problems so far, and is not expected to. This dosier is only for the sake of her special ability. She always manifests as a sixteen year old girl in a simple, threadbare, sleeveless tunic, belted at the waist by a frayed hemp rope. Her hair is brown, and waist length, untied. In this form, everything about her is undeniably solid, including her clothes.

In an attempt to throw light on her powers, the Council has investigated her past.

Are was the daughter of a farmer-turned samurai in feudal Japan. When her father was forcefully drafted into their feudal lord's army to fight a war, Are was forced to take up the burden of providing for her physically weak mother and 3 siblings, ranging from the age of 5 to 12. Unable to keep the farm going, she sold it, and turned to selling field medicine and herbs. The combined income was enough for them to survive for three years. On her sixteenth birthday, her father returned to find their farm sold, and their funds almost depleted.

In a rage, he threw the young girl out.

We were unable to gather much information about Are at this point, and there was no information whatsoever about Are's personality. But it appears she turned to begging in the commune marketplace to survive. The villagers, once her neighbours, helped to give her alittle each day. At this point in time, it was apparent Are fell in love with a boy her age who was just passing through the village with his parents, on their way to the feudal lord's castle. They promised to meet again at the market place when the boy would be heading back.

Unexpectedly, the feudal lord's enemies launched a suprise attack and razed the entire village, along with the feudal lord's own castle. Are survived the assault, but the boy did not. Unknowingly, the young girl remained waiting at the market place, refusing to leave the ruins, until she eventually starved to death. Since then, she has been earth-bound at that place.

Even though Are's elusive nature has prevented us from getting to know her personality better, it is apparent that she is still devoted to the boy who died. As far as our soures could tell, though, the boy's spirit was never earth-bound. It is unknown how long Are will continue to stay in the shopping mall, and despite everything, we are still stumped at her ability to manifest a physical body. The Council will continue to investigate.

Looking to the future~
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